In Reflections

This page contains reflections and musings from my life journey.

December 6, 2015

What’s Knocking?

I share this post in response to a series of 12 prompts provided by visionaries within a community of business artists. You may also participate if you choose by visiting Tracking Wonder’s Quest2016 page.

Your Quest2016 Prompt today:

From Visionary: Jonathan Fields @jonathanfields

You wake up to discover a knock at your door. A wealthy uncle you barely knew has passed and left you a fortune. It’s more than enough to live out your days in glorious splendor, but there is a condition. To be eligible to collect, you must commit your full-time working energies to the pursuit of an answer to a single question of your choosing for the next 12 months.

You are welcome to continue that pursuit after the year ends, for years or decades if it warrants, but you must remain fully focused on seeking the answer until the last minute of the 365th day. A minute shorter, the entire inheritance goes to your annoying and equally long lost cousin, Philly.

What is your question?

Every time I ponder this prompt, tears come to my eyes. It is likely these tears are a message from my soul, urging me to pay attention. During this past year, I have been literally and figuratively wandering. We sold our home, cars, furniture, and put the rest in storage at the beginning of the year. Since then, my husband Jim Lockard and I have traveled all over Europe and are currently living for a month in Oaxaca, Mexico. We will travel to California and Hawaii before the end of the year. We may spend some time in Oregon the 1st quarter of 2016, then most likely return to Europe.

Back to the question at hand. Which question must I work towards answering in 2016?

My good friend and colleague Cindy Henson provided me some inspiration with her answer to this prompt. Thank you Cindy!  In 2007, I defined a personal Passion & Purpose statement in a workshop conducted by my colleages at CEO2. Here is a recently revised version of my P&P Statement:

Passion: Singing Our Song


With spiritual vision, brilliance, and clarity,
I nurture and inspire myself and others
To powerfully express the music of our souls,
So that we may create, care, learn, and live courageously together.

2015-10-26 19.55.18

2015-10: The author, performing with a quartet in an amateur chamber music master class. Cleveland, OH

So, here is my two part question for myself in 2016:

What song am I singing so that the world benefits? What am I doing to nurture and inspire myself and others to powerfully express the music of our souls?

As I begin to answer these questions, I wish to clarify that each of us has a song to sing (e.g., story about yourself, key message you present to others, work that you do in your life)  and our souls yearn to express our unique music. You might want to ask yourself, what song are you singing now, and what song do you really want to sing?  I’m asking myself these same questions. More about this question in future posts.

May 25, 2015

As a child, I always moved from place to place with my bohemian-gypsy mother. I attended seven schools from kindergarten to 11th grade, having left home at age 14 to live with a friend’s family to avoid the chaos of gypsy-hood. I graduated high school a year early and was on my own at age 17.

This feeling of being untethered saturated my consciousness until I moved to the Eastman School of Music. I found a home there – not deeply, yet it was a significant time of stability for me. It was there that I discovered that a sense of “home” dwells within and does not require physical roots.

Even so, my heart yearned to create a rooted home for my daughter Grace. I wanted to live a tethered life with her. I wanted her to have stability, a place from which she could grow and blossom according to her heart’s yearning. I wanted the same for me. We lived in our last home in Oak Park for 15 years. We had roots here. I nurtured a beautiful garden over the years, and consecrated the walls of our house with art and color and even some whimsy. It was here that my husband Jim came to live almost 10 years ago.

Yet, during the past few years since Grace left “the nest,” I have felt called to fly away too. I am called to experience something new, to immerse myself in a new culture, language, and form of work and creative expression. I am untethered again and enjoying it while finding the balance between exploration and stability. I’m not always on the Edge with a capital “E.”

An essential aspect of my creative nature is to celebrate beauty, cultivation, nurture, and even history. There is a place in my life to love it all.

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